Dear Beautiful Person Out There,
It’s been entirely too long since I’ve carved out the space to just sit and write what’s on my mind.
(My version of cheap therapy.)
But here’s The Thing that’s got me stirred up right now.
There is always something.
Things to be handled.
Shit to get done.
Uncomfortable feelings to, unfortunately, feel.
Messes to clean.
Mouths to feed.
(Netflix series to binge watch.)
News to digest.
Opinions to tune out.
Mistakes to repair.
And then there is The Laundry. The never-ending, creeping, daunting, taunting Pile of Laundry.
Never-mind the appointments and phone calls and emails and texts…
And. The. List. Goes. On.
But here’s the thought had me jump out of the shower to write this down. Ready??
(Spoiler alert: it’s not brilliant. It just is.)
This. Is. It.
You know that place that we all dream about where all these things are done and gone?
Where we’ve finally got a handle on it all, are all caught up, and there’s nothing hanging over our heads?
Where no more bad news will sweep in and take our breath away?
And where we are some perfected version of ourselves, no longer making such a (human) mess of things?
(You know the one.)
It’s doesn’t exist. Well, not if we’re going to really live, instead of just trying to keep-all-things-in-place. (And even there, it doesn’t really exist.)
And so, when we are feeling overwhelmed by the things that are sitting upon our plates, or feeling like we must guard our plates, lest someone else set Another Thing To Handle upon it, it’s time to take a big, old deep breath.
Because the point is not to carry the lightest plate.
It’s to deepen our capacity for carrying whatever mix of BIG and niggling, little (and medium-sized) other life stuff that happens to be on our plates RIGHT NOW.
And while I know this really isn’t news for anyone out there, just take a moment and consider this:
It’s All Practice.
It’s All Fodder.
It’s Always Shifting.
It’s All Going To Be Gone Some Day.
(Repeat that last line to yourself once more…)
And so, if you shift your focus to how you carry your (pardon me) load – whether it be lightly or stomp-y, open-hearted or begrudgingly, present-to-what-is-even-when-its-freaking-hard or attached-to-the-idea-that-things-should-be-different – you will see that it doesn’t entirely matter what the individual or collective weight of what-sits-upon-your-plate really is.
What matters is that you dig deep, so that you so that you don’t arrive at the end of This Day having missed the Whole Point.
And the Whole Point, I dare say, is to cultivate the courage to take that big old plate of yours and go out into the world – wobbly armed and all – and try new things.
Or try old things in new ways.
It doesn’t matter. Just get out there with it.
Get out there despite the awkwardness of trying to move – with some sort of grace or confidence – while carrying around Unfinished Business and Things You Wish Would Disappear and Relationships To Repair and Other Things You’d Simply Rather Not Do But Need Doing.
Because there will always be something (times x).
So grieve what needs to be grieved, like All Things That Could Have Been and Things That Have Fallen Off and Away and Behind. (Go on, the dishes and Netflix series can wait.)
And let go of wishing-it-away (or, if you’re having that kind of day: wishing-to-smash-the-crap-out-of-it) and feeling somehow less than because you simply can’t get it all together.
Because there is still, always, more to come.
This. Is. It.
But, lest I forget the bottom line here, I will (almost) end with this: you’ve got CAPACITY, woman. And I don’t mean to take on more doing, or intentionally add onto an already super heavy plate. I mean that you’ve got the internal capacity to source the courage and strength and patience and grace that you need.
In other words, YOU’VE GOT THIS.
That’s all I wanted to say.